being different… and names

UPDATED: this ‘above 2 paragraphs’ had been cut and pasted to the comments box of the thread ‘open house? bah! open your hearts first!’ so as to avoid misunderstanding. (see my comments here why)

yes, like frangipani, i dare speak 100% from my heart and do not want to hide behind a mask to go with the flow/majority. and because of this, many people hate me and would even as frangipani pointed out, label me a bitch.

ok the above 3 paragraphs applies not only for this case (christmas) but lots others. for example someone says s/he went to a steamboat buffet at RM12 only which is so cheap. then everyone comes in to say ya ya so cheap. but i come in to say it is not cheap. and people will start saying i’m a spoilsport or any other names. why? why can’t i speak from my heart? to me it is not cheap, so i dare say it out instead of thinking in my heart it is not cheap but dare not speak up since everybody already say it is cheap, so i have to say it is cheap to go with the majority. now, that would be hypocritcal.

another example. everybody (chinese esp.) like the no. 8, saying it is a good luck number. but i say i don’t like it. then somebody would say “it is a fact that the no. 8 is a lucky number. everybody like it, why don’t you?” isn’t that such a ridiculous question? they thought i purposely disagree just because i want to argue or want to be impossible, or want to be different, or want to draw attention to myself, blah blah. why is it just because i state out the obvious (eg remember jesus during christmas, spend on the poor instead of yourself, etc.) i would be look to as self-righteous? if anything, those who knows me well (online and offline) will know i’m nothing close to that.

to continue reading, please click on ‘jog over for more’.

yes, why is it when you are different, people would look at you one kind or hurl names at you? the worst unkind remark they come up for me was when they touch on my age and single status. they refered to me as ‘taiyeema’ (old aunty) and said i’m weird because i’m old and single. now i ask you, isn’t that very unkind of them and don’t you think i don’t feel the hurt?

why? why? why are people so scared to be different? why do people like to lie and be a hypocrite just to ‘go with the flow’ or go along with the majority or want people to like them? why? why? why can’t i have a difference of opinion from everyone without people accusing me of this and that? without people being sarcastic at me? and don’t think i have no feelings. i’m not a dog behind the keyboard typing out all this and commenting here and there.

(and i wouldn’t want to go into this thing about these terrible people who hurl names at me, will then say it’s only a joke, why are you so uptight/sensitive, why do you get so personal… because it will be a long say-say. btw, these terrible people on the net (TPN) is one small group of people, where i have blog on here and here).

finally, i think to myself, why should i be so worried about what all these net friends think of me? if they want to call me weird, arrogant, self-righteous, whatever, let them be. in fact, i’m already immune to what some of them said of me anyway, so i’ll just ignore them. i realise that, once they don’t like me, they will sure find fault with whatever i said, even though what i say may be right and not weird, so what the heck.

but what i don’t like is if they start to influence other people… like new mutual friends of ours. i hope to god, these new friends will have the sense not to get influence by them but judge me based on their own judgement, not on the influence of these terrible people on the net (TPN). and thank god too that i have more good net friends who understand me and never judge me than these terrible people on the net (TPN). indeed. that’s precisely the reason i should and must forget about them and totally ignore them (the TPN).