my mother taught me…….

ok guys, ligthen up on a sunday. let’s steer away from talk of cartoons (the non funny kind) and/or the old new cabinet (not the one you find in your kitchen/office) for today and laugh along with things your mother taught you when you were small. let’s see how many of these in the list you can relate to.

picture taken from gomamago.
My mother taught me…

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”

My mother taught me PRAYER
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

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My mother taught me LOGIC
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY
“Keep laughing and I’ll ‘give’ you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
“Will you ‘look’ at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA
“You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times – Don’t exaggerate!!!”

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

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ok of course this is a CnP job (cut and paste). hey i’m not that creative… at least not now with a busy mind, just can’t thin… but hey maybe some of you can think of what your mother taught you and share it here. this was taken from a joke site ‘oracle humour’ which i noticed had ‘closed shop’ long time already. well i got hold of this in around the year 2000 or 2001 so it ain’t a suprise that it had closed shop. during those years, i was crazy over jokes and subsribe to 3 jokes site, and all the jokes i received, i never thrash them away but kept them archived in a folder. good to keep them as from time to time, i can open the folder and have a laugh or two… or to share it with you all once in a while.