10 words that don’t exist but should

it’s the weekend! after some very serious posts (the daddy in his sky kingdom and the recent terrorist attacks), here’s something fun. this was taken from the joke doctor and it had been around quite some time so i guess many of you might have come across it already. never mind, for those who haven’t, it’s a good amusing read. many of us, i’m sure can relate to the words description. i know i can.

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1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater or on an airplane.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust-pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up in frustration and sweeps it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man guy lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

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i can relate to nos. 3, 4, 5, 8 and 10. why?

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3. yeah i don’t know who i learned this from. ah think must be from my mother, when i was a child. i remember when i drop a candy and picking it up, wanting to put it in my mouth, my mum would say “blow, blow, blow first”. i don’t know why must blow blow first but a kid must listen to her mother, so i did. and strange thing is as an adult, i taught that to my little nieces and nephews!

4. grrr! i hate it when somebody in the cinema, sitting next to me takes up the armrest… my armrest! my space! how dare she! oh what? you mean it is her space too? gee, a cinema should come up with individual seats so that there won’t be some drama off-screen – ‘armrest fighting’.

5. haha. this one is very funny and very true. (though i have use the word ‘frust’ many times… short for ‘frustrated’ but here it is another meaning). that’s why i hate using dust-pan to collect the debris when sweeping. can’t seems to get them in, especially on a flat surface (floor). so i usually try to look for floor surface that is one level lower, so that i can place the dustpan at the foot of the floor and sweep the debris from the ‘upper’ floor to the ‘lower’ floor.

8. so this happens to a lot of people too? not only me! what a consolation. i thought it’s me getting old, thus grey cells a little rusty. you know, sometimes when i want to dial a friend’s number, i mistakenly dial my own house number!

10. yep. in my office, the phone is just next to me. i always let the phone ring at least twice before answering. why? i wouldn’t want the caller to think i’m so anxious to answer a call! i notice some of my colleagues though answer the phone at the very first ring, and i always think to myself, how the caller would react – surely the caller would get a shock that immediately after s/he dial finish the number, suddenly it was picked up! so not wanting to give the caller a shock, i’d rather to let her/him wait.

there’s another word not found in this list – i forgot what it is – it is used to describe someone who stand outside the lift, pressing at the lift’s button a number of times for the lift to come/open door. i’m guilty of this too. we all should know that just pressing once will do, yet we seems to be impatient, pressing at it a number of times!

so what are the actions here in this list that you can relate to?