one hour late is the norm?

on saturday, i was at two wedding function. the first one was a simple buffet lunch, with only about 80 persons present. it was a lunch immediately after the wedding mass in church. i don’t know the bride/groom and their parents personally but the mother of the bride is an active church members and she invited a few of us church workers. well the food was ok… the usual buffet where there are 5 dishes, excluding fried rice, fried mee, fried bee hoon. and ice kacang and deserts too.

the second wedding function i went to was the wedding dinner of my colleague’s son. it was held at one of the hotels in tanjung bungah and there were over 300 people present. yes, it was the usual chinese sit-down course dinner. you know, the one where it always starts late and where you have to share your food with 9 others. the wedding card said 7.00pm sharp. i was there at 6.30… becuase the place was a long way from my home and wanted to avoid the traffic jam, and wanted to find a good parking space. another reason was that my colleague asked me to help her usher in friends of our friends.

well when i was there at 6.30, believe it or not, there was no one yet. oh of course it is believable. i mean the hosts were not there yet! so i (and my sister) went walking round the hotel to admire the sceneries there. at 6.45pm, we decided to go back to the dinner venue, and yes, the hosts were there already, and also a few guests. well i thought the dinner being in a hotel, it would start in time, but i was dead wrong. very typically of chinese course dinner, it started at 8.00pm… an hour later. actually at 7.30pm, the bride and groom were already there, but seeing that the tables were only half filled, they couldn’t start the dinner. wow! a case of the bride/groom waiting for the guests. but this was where the bride/groom were already there at the dinner venue.

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i heard of another case where the bride/groom were at home, chit chatting, killing mosquitoes, waiting to go for the dinner, when it was already time. but it was not the bride/groom’s intention. oh, it happened right in front of my eyes… i was the bridesmaid!

let me start from the beginning. many years back, i was a bridesmaid to one of my good friend. long time before the dinner suppose to start (at 7.00pm), we were already free, so we sat down in the living room chit chatting. then at 7.00pm, my friend, the bride said that we had better made a move to the dinner venue but you know what, the… er… how do you call it… the lady who helped you with the rules and protocols of a wedding… in chinese we call it ‘sek kiam ng’. (alamak. in chinese i also not sure how it is call). anyway, when my friend, the bride, mentioned wanted to leave for the dinner, this lady shouted ” no, no! you don’t go early one. you don’t go on time one. you must go very late. let the guests go first.”

you see, this is one very bad habit of the chinese… starting a wedding dinner late. when in the world will they ever change. when in the world will i get to see a wedding dinner that starts on time.

speaking of starting on time and chinese course dinner, the dinner that started the latest that i attended, believe it or not, suppose to start at 8.00pm but started at 9.30pm. and the worst thing is… i was one of the organiser! ha! but i was the organiser for the celebration only lah, not the dinner. it was a dinner to commemorate the golden jubilee of one of our priests. there was a good reason that the dinner started late anyway. it was raining cats and dogs, and everywhere was flooded. at 9.00pm. the tables were not half filled yet! and of course the guest of honour not there yet too! he only came at 9.30, so the dinner started at 9.30. pity those who came early, their stomach were growling, and if not mistaken, some even left. and the waitresses seemed to put on long faces when carrying the dishes in out since we delayed them.

i guess punctuality with the chinese (if talk about wedding dinners, but other stuffs, i would say ‘malaysians’) is very rare indeed. why? rare? i should say non existent. like the ‘sek kiam ng’ who said, you don’t go early for the dinner, it’s like it will be so wrong/shocking to have the dinner start in time. *sigh*

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